Herrrrmmm....

Perhaps I should retract what I said in my "singleness awareness day" post. Not sure. But for something that was bashing sentimentality... it sure did seem to be full of a lot of "feelings;" which as we all know can get you killed.

Pardon me while I try to figure out what I am trying to say.

Thanks,

JSTT

God Works in Mysterious Ways

God works in mysterious ways. Example? My roommate, Jeff, who is an absolute bike nut is now making jewelry instead of fixing bikes... which he was trying to make money doing at the beginning of this year.

How about me? The movie nut? Yeah, well, again... at the beginning of this academic year that's what I was doing: making movies. But stuff started falling through, and now what am I doing for money? Making wine.

Who would have guessed? The story never turns out like you think it will.

JSTT

Singleness Awareness Day

Valentines Day... is there an apostrophe in there? Well, I submit that there shouldn't be... since it's not Valentine's Day anymore (a holiday remembering the patron saint), it really is "valentines" Day, the day that you go out and get "valentines" plural... not possessive. Who knew you could come up with this huge argument with a simple change in punctuation?

It's raining... raining in the Idaho panhandle. It's snowing everywhere else... I think it might even be snowing in Florida right now. Nothing would surprise me weather wise at this point. Perhaps this is why the official term has been changed from "global warming" to "climate change." Notice that "climate change" is a bad thing. Obama said so in his state of the union address. Also notice what follows from that: not even Obama believes that all change is good. Bush was smart but talked dumb, Obama is dumb but talks smart. Which is more dangerous?

It's raining... depending on the kind of mood I'm in... I quite enjoy rain. Especially right now... at the end of a very, very long week. The roommates are out partying it up. The house is quiet, nothing but the water heater whirring in the background. "Be still and know that I am God." I'll probably take a nap soon. THIS is how to spend a Sunday afternoon.

I have a job... this makes me very happy. It really makes me focus on my school work when I have the time. I think I did pretty well on my science midterm... I've failed my last two. Maybe I can pull my average grade up from a C to a B this quarter. You never know. Last year 3rd quarter proved to be the best.

Already making summer plans... my long lost roommate, Russell invited me up to his place this August for Warped Tour. I went last year, but it was a total bore going alone. Rocking out with a friend is always so much more fun. As for the rest of this summer? Who knows? Well... God does. He always has. I keep thinking He doesn't. How silly of me. As me and my college friends often say in instant message speak: *headdesk*

Singleness awareness day... I think I won't even celebrate it when I'm married. That will be a tough one to spring on the wife. "Sorry dear, I don't believe in Valentines Day." I think I have a legitimate excuse though. Paul makes it very clear in his letters to the churches around the world that they ought not do anything that would make a weaker brother to stumble. I think our famous American red holiday does just that. Let me explain... no, there is too much...... let me sum up:

I was very prone to... seeking others' affections while in middle school, high school... and to some extent even now. I consider myself one of the afore mentioned "weaker brothers." Valentines Day always bothered me, it put pressures on me that needn't have been there. So, even when I am no longer single... I will nullify "valentines" day in my household.

Romans 14:5-6 "One man considers one day more sacred than another; another man considers every day alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. He who regards one day as special, does so to the Lord. He who eats meat, eats to the Lord, for he gives thanks to God; and he who abstains, does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God."

I'm fully convinced in my own mind, and I will not celebrate "valentines" day unto the Lord.

In Christ,

JSTT

Apology II

Well, that was interesting…

So, the thing about who I am and the modern invention of the webernet is that you all get to see the good and the bad. I think that on a fundamental level that’s important. But I don’t want you all to get the wrong idea.

For all those who may read this that I don’t know, I’m not a guy that just randomly flies off the handle at 8^th century monks. In retrospect, a line from Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix comes to mind: “I just get so angry all the time!” That’s how I was feeling the other day. But as Sirius Black responds to Harry as he is wondering he is really evil, he comes very close to quoting Batman: “It’s is what we do that defines us.” (for the record, this is VERY characteristic of me, quoting movies to get my point across.)

I want what I do to have meaning and purpose. I want to really get angry about stuff sometimes, but not arbitrarily. I want to let people know what I am passionate about, but taking it out on monks that many people have never heard of before is just not how to do it.

As a little aside, I really want to get my motto tattooed on my right forearm. Just three words: “Truth With Love.” If nothing else, I want to have the reminder emblazoned upon my skin, so that everytime I see it, it will become engraven in my soul. Now that I think on it… THAT is what I am most passionate about! “Truth with love.” There is so much in the Scriptures that I want to convey and tell others, and there is so much hate spreading through the modern American church. It’s either tolerance or passivism. (I’m not saying that this is EVERYONE, but by and large it is the norm.) The two camps of love and truth are seemingly engaged in an endless war. But they are not mutually exclusive. Nor should you only have one or the other. If you are all fire and brimstone, no one will listen to the truth you have. And if you are all sappy, sweet mush… you have no truth to speak to those that are listening.

So that is more likely something I should swear about… not old British monks. Please forgive me. Which causes are worth fighting for the kingdom? I’m still working on that one. Please bear with me as I learn what hills are worth dying on.

Many thanks,

JSTT

Playlist of the Week 2010 #6

-"Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You" - Muse http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BrBNfXIBqu4

-"Skin and Bones" - Motion City Soundtrack http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJFYGtUOVwY

-"The Breakfast Song" - Annie http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=giggj5rQbBc

-"Perfect Situation" - Weezer http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WgR-l3fhygw

-"World Behind Your Wall" - Tokio Hotel http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlLkscjDWsA&feature=channel

-"Have Faith In Me" - A Day to Remember http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2YSkdpqJQlc

-"The Last Song" - The All-American Rejects http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJB2vgyBvlw

New Frontier

Ok... so there are a lot of things that scare me about having a job. Let's start with the fact that I have not had a job in about 2 years since I left Virginia Beach Alcohol Beverage Control back in 2008 when I moved down to NC and then out to college. That's right... I have not had a job in 2 years. I suppose this reflects on the grace of God, as I have not HAD to have a job to support myself. But the time came this year for me to enter the working world. It wasn't a new year's resolution or anything like that (although, 2010 DOES begin and new chapter and new story), but it was more the fact that I am almost 21, and have no real work experience.

That brings me to the next thing that scares me about having a job: I haven't HAD a real job before! I've "worked," yes... but not regular kind of normal person job. Well, I did do the classic mow your lawn, watch the mentally insane 3 year old boy jobs. (Andrew was crazy, and I loved him for it. But that's a story for another time.) But after that, I decided to work at a place called River Ranch Retreat Ranch (I kid you not), more commonly referred to as "Triple R Ranch," perhaps because it was less harsh on the ears and sensibilities. It was a Christian summer camp, the kids that attended it were not. I babysat 12 prepubescent boys for a week at a time for 4 weeks with the help of another college aged guy. It was... fun?

My next job was as an underage buyer for Alcohol Beverage Control (ABC). My dad found that job for me; to this day I don't know how he dug it up. Perhaps he will comment on this post and enlighten us all. Basically, I had to fill out several reams of paper (as it was a government job), and then sit in for training at a police station. Once I was hired my job consisted of going around, trying to buy alcohol from any place that would sell it, with two armed police officers trailing me. We were all undercover, so if the establishment handled themselves well, asked for my ID and refused to sell to me, we walked out and no one was the wiser. If you sold to me however, the officers would immediately walk up to you, tell you what you did, tell the manager what you did and then tell the state what you did. Then they'd arrest you, which I learned working this job does NOT actually mean that you get put in cuffs. It just means... well, I'm not sure anymore. But anyway, you were caught red handed and you would have to show up at court. (I got to tag along as a witness when we did catch someone.) Usually anyone we busted would either get a 500 dollar fine, community service or some kind of combination of the two.

There are so many tales I could tell about that job: the time an ABC agent got called in to do a drug bust in this pink polo. How the agents would try to make me look as young as possible so I wouldn't get sold to; cuz if I did, they'd be stuck with miles of paper work. How often Food Lion sold me alcohol. How we had to drive through the projects... the list goes on.

The next "job" I had was as an actor and creative person in a local film company. Never saw a dime of profit... but I think we gained capital in other areas. The relationships forged were always the big focus for me. We made a movie that still isn't finished, and the company kind of blew up at the end of last year... but I don't regret any of it. Sometimes an adventure is worth taking just for the fun of it.

Back to the new job:

Another thing that kind of bothers me is that I am not good with liquids, and I am going to be working at a winery... During high school I joked with my friends that I had a drinking problem. (Not alcoholic drinking problem... but that leads into reason 3.) The insident that I remember specifically was when I was at a party at my best friend's house. I had a big glass of Sprite in my hand, and was standing behind the couch where some of our other friends were playing Nintendo. Then, inexplicably, I kind of drop, kind of throw my fizzy drink of goodness all over my friend's couch. We laughed it off afterwards, but that still didn't alleviate my drinking problem. How bad am I going to be around wine bottles all day??

Of course, although I will be soon, I am not yet 21. Obviously that means I cannot be a taster at the winery. I can see myself now:

"Sir, what wine would you recommend?"

"Ummm... That one!"

"Oh? How is it??"

"Good... we make it."

"What's it taste like?"

"No idea..."

Even more than that, I am a full time student, at the school with the craziest work load this side of the Mississippi. I have already had to tell my teacher I won't be able to make one of my classes on Monday. Now, I have just found out that my new work schedule directly conflicts with two of my finals in about 4 weeks.

But the biggest one? Taxes, taxes, taxes... *twitch, twitch* I think the federal government is trying to drive us mad or something. Everytime I see a W-4 form I start to have minor heart attacks.

But you know what? I just realized... all this (although amusing perhaps) is worry. Clearly a sin in the Bible. God saw fit to grant me a job. I am immensely thankful for it. Do I want God to take away the gift that He just gave me? No. I'll practice being thankful instead of bothered.

Cheers, and have a blessed Sabbath!

JSTT

Follow the String

I'm running trying to catch up as things change
As things die
As people move in and out
As we lie
It's like reaching for an ice cream cone only to have it fall upon the pavement
It's like trying to climb the stairs to the attic, then falling into the basement
I keep coming up with abstractions that don't do reality justice
Bang the gavel, send me away, lock me up so I won't write anymore angsty metaphors
But even from my cell, I see the world keep moving
The changing of the guard reflects something deeper
Something larger at stake
It's telling me that we made a mistake
I clutch the string and follow it to the end
It takes me to an unexpected destination
I thought it was saving me from damnation
I thought I was running from what I feared
Only to find that I am right back where I began
Except everything is different
Perhaps it's only that I was wrong...
Again
Awash in a sea of pretty faces, taking notes, staring into space, longing for better places
Longing for something else
Longing for a local where we'll never change again
Cuz there'll be no need
We'll already be perfect