Yet... Not At All

I could be pretentious

Oh, I could do it oh so well

I could take the blame for all your pain

And tell you I cracked the Liberty Bell

Just hypothesizing

It's so close to justifying

Yet not at all

Steeped it a quagmire of pop culture fizz

I believe this makes me eclectic

Perhaps even eccentric

Yet not at all

I down pounds of processed sugar everyday

I say it's for a reason

The feeling

That I get when I actually ingest healthy food makes it all worth it

Yet not at all

I consume a steady diet of socially acceptable violence

In the form of words and pixels

Socially acceptable being key phrase

Yet not at all

I think that I have something relevant to say

Something that will affect you

Perhaps radically change your perspective on life

What did I say about being pretentious?

Yet not at all

Am I defined by this hopeless quest for self-gratification and validation?

Am I compelled to be this quivering mess of reaching, grasping introspection?

Am I finished?

No, not at all

Praise God from Whom all blessings flow

Praise Him all creatures here below

Praise Him above ye heavenly host

Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost

And that is all

Soapbox

Set the box on the corner

Stand up, a global amphitheater

A podium, a church, a strip bar

The communists and optimists and misogynists congregate

We get together and conjugate

We promote hope and spread the hate

Striving, struggling, talking to no one in particular

Just trying to convince myself that I can change this

Not just myself

I'm wrong

Dead wrong

Dead as a mouse in a trap

Crushed, neck snapped

I can't pull myself up by my laces

No matter if they're my Chucks or my boots

It won't work

And you can't help

Best you can do is want this pill bug roll around in a space vast and great

The harder I try, the more I solidify

Cramping into my shell

My fellow bugs tell me to look up

At the sky, the sun, the birds

The predators and the prey

The April rains the buds of May

The ants and termites tell me how I can be a man

Scream out in my little bug voice

Recognize what I am

Then I can be something else

Once I die

Once I die

Once I die

Then I rise

As long as I direct my words in the correct direction

God, pick up my boot straps

Give me new shoes

Some that were meant for walking

The kind that bring good news

Not the kind that wander into dens and pits and pens

Not the ones that track in trash and muck

I'm stepping down

Off the box

And following someone else

Rain

If there is one thing that I miss about the northwest... it is water. Really big water. There is so much contained in water. I think often times that it is the closest thing we have to a perfect metaphor for God. It is essential. It is powerful. It is everywhere. We die without it. We can be killed with it in a million different equally horrifying ways. We love it. We are terrified by it.

So now, out here in Idaho there is so little of it. We get bits of it in snow, but for some reason that just isn't good enough for me. I want more. I want oceans of the stuff. Torrential down pours. Endless waves pounding a rhythmic time upon the shore. Hurricanes even!

But here there is none of that. Not rain, not storm, not sea. I feel kind of like I am drying up.

My brain quotes pithy sayings in retort to my complaints. "Grow where you're planted."

Am I looking for the wrong kind of water? Am I neglecting the water of my baptism? The water of the Spirit? Where is it? Have I hidden it deep in my heart? In the deep crevices, that nothing can penetrate? Have I buried the water of hope and love and peace so deep that I am actually having trouble drinking from the well?

Dear Lord, I can't dig anymore. I am parched, I am longing for something more than a pill to get me through the day. I need something that lasts... forever. You've given it to me already, but I keep losing it. Totally my fault. I seem to be so horrible at water retention. Plug up the holes, please God. I don't want to leak anymore. Keep me filled with your grace, and the pure joy that comes not of circumstances... but of You.

Amen
&
Amen!

JSTT

Stars...

We write s0 often of things we know nothing of
Sickness and health
Beauty and wealth
Stories of giants and monsters
Tales filled with princesses...
... and stars
The stars up in the sky
The stars that never lie
The stars that always stay
Bright as day
That never fade away

We sing so often of things we don't remember
Of hate and joy
Of girls and boys
Of water and rain
Of fire and pain
Songs of getting famous
Of becoming stars...
Bright as the noon day sun
Bright as the marquee
Dreaming of becoming number one
Praying that this won't come undone

But the ones we want to become carry us on
We ride off into the sunset on the shoulders of those that made us
We ride on the wings of stars

Through the Winter

Hey it's been awhile
Since I've seen you smile
It's been too long
Since we sang that song
It's been a million days
Walking without a way
Trying to find the road
Trying to lighten the load
But we look everywhere but up
We look every other way for help
We forget
We die like flies
In the dark

So I'm stepping back and taking stock
Taking advice I used to mock
I'm trusting in the One
And waiting for the sun
To bring us back to
Healing
Breathing
Believing

Don't you forget
I never left
I'm still standing here
Waiting for the sun
To bring me back to life

A simple word

Simple words
Spoken from the heart
Mean more than you could know
They beat where broken hearts cannot
And through the sidewalks grow
Do not doubt
The power there
Hidden in a soul
That truly thrives and leaps and builds
It makes the broken whole
The trust of a friend
Who speaks what's meant
Can change water into wine
It can turn the blackness into light
It can cause hearts to entwine
One simple word
Before you sleep
Can change a day into
A day that was better far
Than anything you've been through
A simple word can destroy worlds
It can poison a wishing well
But when it's used
And not abused
It is the fount of life
So do not end the day
Until you've found the one
Who has to words hidden up inside
And breathes them into
Love