FEED ME! (Becoming an Adventurer Part I)

I spend a lot of time in video stores. I have probably spent hours upon hours in them; perhaps even as much time as a stay at home parent might spend at their local grocery store. This never struck me as abnormal until a day ago.

After 3 fun filled weeks with family and friends, the last week of my winter break was upon me and my family had all but returned to their everyday routine. Dad was back at work, the girls were headed out of town and my mom and her own dad were headed on a short holiday to DC. For the first time in 3 whole weeks I was going to be on my own again. Naturally I didn’t want to spend the majority of the next 48 hours alone in a big empty house, so I hit the town.

In between lunch and heading to a movie theater, I stopped in an FYE (For Your Entertainment). It is one of the largest I have ever been in, and I used to frequent it when I was a permanent fixture of the Hampton Roads area. Upon walking in I stopped and felt suddenly overwhelmed. It might have been that I was tired, or maybe I have just been hypersensitive about entertainment lately; but for whatever reason, when I walked in the door, I lost all desire to look for individual items, whether they were movies, music or video games. I was suddenly looking at the store as a whole, and all I could say was:

“Why?”

Why do we need stores that have as large a variety of movies as we do of food? In fact, there was probably a larger variety of sitcoms on DVD in that store than there are kinds of produce at the Farm Fresh around the corner.

Dizziness overwhelmed me as I realized that I had been part of this. I suck in movies often without thinking. Sure, I keep up a veneer of holiness to hide how much I am consuming, but that is something akin to a man who is 200 pounds overweight telling you that he only eats so much because he wants to tell you what kinds of food are good. He is not a cook, he is not demonstrating that he has actually learned anything about good food or how to make it… only that he enjoys eating and he does it with disregard to how it is effecting him.

The scary thing is that in America the way food and movies are sold and consumed is not so different anymore. A shiny, glossy cover can make a tidy little profit whether it’s carrots or Caddyshack. People buy Ho Hos and porn for the same reason… they taste good, even if they both make you feel like you want to vomit an hour after consumption. What is scarier is that an HBO show can now become “critically acclaimed” simply by containing gratuitous amounts of violence and sex, causing it be suddenly be “edgy” and/or “gritty,” even though underneath all that it is just another soap opera. This has already begun to bleed over into the world of food, with foods that are absolutely crap for you to eat getting actual stickers that proclaim that they have received awards like “BEST TASTING” or “CHIEFS’ CHOICE AWARD.” Yes… things are getting that ridiculous.

Just today I was returning some things to a Best Buy around the corner from me and got suckered into that very “ooh! Shiny!” syndrome that we all fall into so easily in the internet age. Do I not know that Satan is the Prince of Light? Do I not know that covers deceive? “That sin looks so hot!” one might say. And Mark Driscoll might retort: “Yeah… but so is hell.”

Anyway, I had all this money from the returns, so my consumeristic self decided that I show blow the money immediately. On what? Is always the next question. Well, it was new release Tuesday. (Yes, I am so consumed with my need for new stuff that I know that in the USA new movies, music and books are always released on Tuesdays.) The new HBO show Boardwalk Empire had just been released on DVD and a free preview of the show Game of Thrones came with it for a limited time. The covers looked pretty, Steve Buscemi was in it, it had won 8 Emmys. It must be good… right? RIGHT?

Well, I bought it and took it home, only to look up the content rating in IMDB. The show was filled with foul language… more than most R rated movies contain, full frontal nudity (male and female), and buckets of blood and brain bashing. On an HBO show? No way? You’ve gotta be joking! (/sarcasm)

I promptly went back and returned the DVD set and got the movie Moon instead, which I had actually been looking for for months and which was nowhere near an impulse buy. It still might have been better had I simply returned Boardwalk Empire and walked right out of the store, but there you have it.

And now I’m sitting here still thinking, “Why? Why has this been so important to me? How on earth did I let my standards drop so much? I almost exposed myself to… ick.”

And then I think a little bit more and I realize that I have been living vicariously through storytellers… like many of my peers have. We are too afraid to have our own adventures, so we watch other peoples’. And suddenly I come to a simple and yet monumental conclusion: it is time for me to have my own adventure.

Capital

Politics scare me… so does the internet, put them together and what have you got? Bibity-bobity-bad-news.

Explanation: I don’t remember WHY I did this, but for some reason I decided to “become a fan” of “being conservative” on Facebook. Yes, I realize now how horrid that sentence sounds. I cringe at the thought of having to proof read this rant because that means I will have to reread that sentence. I am tempted to blame Obama, but that’s cheap. I jump to extremes, so I suppose that is the best explanation. I “fanned” something as an over reaction, or perhaps because they had some kind of ad or post that resonated with me.

See, this is one of the enormous dangers of modern politics: one side will scare the willies out of you, but then the other side (who are just as scary) tries to mask their scariness by appealing to your fear of the other side. They both do this, so that those poor souls who are NOT fanatically loyal to one side or the other are left flip-flopping in between like some carp drying up in the sun, trying desperately to get back to the cool of the lake.

Now, for those of you who are familiar with the Facebook interface, I’m sure you have seen the “polls for science” that some of the fan pages and Facebook itself post. Well, the other day “Being Conservative” posts this:

The recent story about a homeless man braving a fierce storm to save an American Flag in distress got us thinking about how some others treat the flag. Please vote in the poll below.

Should burning the American flag be a crime?
a) Yes
b) No
c) Other

Allow me to fill in the “other” section:

What the heck!?!?!? Notice the spin that is put on this, you cannot answer this question negatively without feeling like a complete jerk. This is totally slanted, this is called sophistry… this is called “not being able to think for yourself.” Notice the usage of the words “braving,” “fierce storm,” and “distress.” This is no mere homeless man here, this is the arch angel Michael in disguise protecting the holy effigy of America!

Sarcasm aside, my point is this: protecting the flag with this kind of fanaticism is a fine practice if America is your god. You SHOULD worship and protect the honor of your gods. That’s the way we humans are wired. Question science? You’re a heretic. Blaspheme Allah? You get run through with a scimitar. Burn the flag? You are going to be stoned. This is the normal order of things; it happens all the time. I get all offended if someone insults my favorite song… so yeah, I have issues to sort out too.

So no, we should not be surprised at these kinds of reactions. Everyone needs something to worship, step on it and they will kill you. But this brings me to a very important theological point about Christianity. Many seculars believe that Christians embracing both the commands to not murder and to kill those who DO murder or rape or abuse other humans is nonsensical. Ah contrar, frater!

Based on the principle I already mentioned, it makes PERFECT sense. See, one of the basic tenants of Christianity is that we (humans) are created in God’s image, a gift that was not bestowed on any other creature (which is why PETA elevating animals above humans is ridiculous). As such, humans are made in the very image of the God I serve as a Christian, and as such, they are to be held in the highest respect and honor. Killing or raping and hurting a fellow human is to me what burning a flag is to a patriot, or insulting Darwin is to an Evolutionist, or denouncing Allah is to a Muslim. It is a capital offence, it is TOTALLY deserving of death. You have just defaced the greatest image in existence. Your death is the only option.

That doesn’t make this easy. Killing another human, even if they deserve it should NEVER be taken lightly. And killing animals or plants for the heck of it is akin to spitting on a painting by a great artist. I cringe when I see a fish flopping in the bottom of a boat or find a boy about to stomp on a bug. I am not advocating random acts of violence, I am merely trying to shed a little light.