Thou Fiend!

"Peacocks succeed reproductively by winning a kind of beauty contest, in which females 'select' the most attractive males. This explanation for the existence of such otherwise useless features undermined the Creationist assumption that the world has been intelligently designed."
-Michael T. Ghiselin, from the introduction to the Dover Thrift Ed. of Darwin's 'On the Origin of Species'

Apparently, if God exists... He's an engineer... not a poet.

Jimmy

We Americans love our unsung heroes; we love rooting for the underdog. We do not, however, like being said unsung hero. We want to be rich and famous. Like Tyler Durden says: “We all want to be rock gods and movies stars, but we won’t. We are slowly learning that fact, and we are very pissed off.”

Shift back about two millennia and several dead languages ago to First Samuel, chapter 14. The Philistines are attacking Israel… again. Think of them as the Viking invader scourge of ancient Mesopotamia, except that they were kind of locals. OK, dropping the metaphor now. Anyway, they were at it again.

Saul has just been crowned king and then promptly depose; both times by the very grumpy sounding and rather snarky prophet Samuel. Saul’s son, Jonathan (who I’m pretty sure was NOT gay! Haven’t you people ever heard of bro-mance? Come on!), on the other hand is kicking butt and taking names. Deciding that the Philistines are getting a little too uppity, Jonathan decides to take the battle behind enemy lines.

So where does this whole “unsung hero” business come into play? Right about now, in fact. Jonathan grabs his personal armor-bearer, and tells him that they are going to go and teach those bloody Philistines a thing or two. Imma’ call this kid Jimmy.

Anyway, after Jonathan uses some pretty harsh language to describe the invaders, he asks if Jimmy’s in it with him. Jimmy’s answer?

“Go ahead, I am with you heart and soul.”

Jimmy doesn’t even flinch. He just looks Jon in the eyes and says: “Do it man, I’ve got your back!” A friend indeed.

“OK then,” Jonathan pipes up, “here’s the plan: we walk up to them in broad daylight.”

Jimmy: “So far so good.”

Jonathan: “And then, if they say ‘We’re comin to get you!’ we’re outta luck. But if they say: ‘Come on and get us!’ then that means that God is gonna helps us whoop ‘em for sure!”

They go over, and what do you know? The Philistines yell: “Come on and get us!” So Jimmy and Jon deal it out and slaughter about 20 of the idiots; Jonathan taking the lead… and Jimmy? Well, he watches Jon’s back, just like he said he would and “killed behind him.” Jimmy was taking names too.

The Philistines go crazy. Their entire came starts turning on each other; they are actually now killing each other with their swords. They just got their butts handed to them by some high-schoolers. I can just imagine the looks on their generals’ faces. Jimmy and Jon made Saul’s mop up job a piece of cake. (To eat… not to bake.)

This one goes out to all those Jimmys in the world. You know who you are. You are no longer unsung. I’m rooting for you… and guess what? God is too.

The Days

The rain still falls on Wednesdays

And it still pours on Thursdays

It's still gloomy on the days in between

People still die on Sundays

Just because they got drunk on Fridays

And it reminds me of the hurt I've seen

Of all the dour looks on Mondays

We're all just punching the books till Saturday

And we're still here

Yes, we're still here

But the days drag on

And the weather falls

And the time is long

But I think that's the problem

We keep the time

We make sure it rhymes

Why not

BRaKE out????

Why not SmASH A FEW

of the rules

Not destroy the reason

Not create chaos

But live a little... differently

A little bit better than

<---------------------------------BEFORE

Don't cry like the raven

Please stop saying

"Nevermore"

For we will live beyond these DAY

Yes

Yes my friends

We will live

EVERMORE.

Connotation, Definition and ect.

I'll post this on my blog and facebook so that it won't be missed.

So, I have always seemed to have this problem. I like using words that I don't understand. It's been that way since I was very small. Once, after saying something funny as a boy of about 6, a family friend told me: "Josiah, I bet you'll grow up to be a comedian." To which I replied: "But I'm already a Canadian!"

Usually this was only a problem with big words like "discombobulated, penultimate" and my personal favorite: "disraught" (a cross between the word "distraught" and the phrase "what hath thou wrought?") "Fired," although a very short word, seems to be causing me a bit of trouble at the moment. I thought I knew what it meant, but I guess still I misunderstood. I'm good at that.

I should be familiar enough with this problem just from my own friends' slips of phrase. Recently, a friend (who shall remain unnamed) was rather disraught (hee, hee, hee) and said he was wondering: "where do God and I stand?" I was rather shocked.

"Dude, whoa! Are you OK? Do you even know what that means?"

He said that he did, but his definition was most certainly NOT mine. I told him: "Ok, this is what I think of when I hear that phrase. Example, if some girl that I was dating or engaged to or whatever came up to me and said: 'Josiah, where do we stand now,' I would be preparing for the end of the relationship."

My friend was shocked: "No, no, no! That's not what I meant at all!" And then he went on to explain that he was just having a hard time struggling with sin and spiritual depression. Well, who doesn't have a down moment now and then? But doubting your faith in God (which is what I took him to mean) is something else entirely!

So... let me define my terms. I suppose by everyone else's definition, I was not "fired." I was not even a full employee yet. I was still in a three week period of paid training. At the end of those three weeks me and my boss had a little heart to heart. I am a big picture kind of guy, working at a winery requires that one be constantly consumed with the details, making it a full priority. I could not afford to do that. I have enough details in my head with Latin subjunctives and the mitochondria of animal cells. I left on good terms, no hostility, no anger... just a mutual realization that that wasn't where I should have been.

I'm an odd bat. I have strange definitions sometimes. I still think that spring starts in February, summer in May, autumn in August and winter in November. Often... VERY often, I must clarify and correct myself. Thanks for listening.

God bless your weekend,

JSTT

The Rain

Hello old friend

Constant

Steady

Leaving blood-like trails on the dirt stains of a crimson mini-van

Don't leave yet

Stay here

Wash me clean

Wash us all

Wash us all away

I'll rejoice in others' contentment

Just don't leave

Don't Look Away

Sit down on the porch

Ignore the sunset

Ignore the raspberry sorbet bleeding over the grassy knolls

Go ahead

I won't mind

But I can't look away

I can't be blind

I look and look and look

And then I find

What I was searching so long for

But all you've found is something to hate and abhor

Turn away if you must

Burn the fire to dust

To it you will return

But I will move on

Long after you've met your end

I'll be following a tale that will never end

I'll go on

I'll go on

To discover a kingdom that will be the death of me

It will be my salvation

It will be my glory

I wish I could open your eyes so you could see it

But I can't do that

You have to feel it

I'm praying He'll open your eyes

That you'll be freed from all your lies

The damp dark cage you built

The sword you plunged into your chest

Up to the hilt

Pull it out

Wipe off the blood

Get washed away in the flood

Of the world I know

Of the life I see

Of what we could one day be

Yet... Not At All

I could be pretentious

Oh, I could do it oh so well

I could take the blame for all your pain

And tell you I cracked the Liberty Bell

Just hypothesizing

It's so close to justifying

Yet not at all

Steeped it a quagmire of pop culture fizz

I believe this makes me eclectic

Perhaps even eccentric

Yet not at all

I down pounds of processed sugar everyday

I say it's for a reason

The feeling

That I get when I actually ingest healthy food makes it all worth it

Yet not at all

I consume a steady diet of socially acceptable violence

In the form of words and pixels

Socially acceptable being key phrase

Yet not at all

I think that I have something relevant to say

Something that will affect you

Perhaps radically change your perspective on life

What did I say about being pretentious?

Yet not at all

Am I defined by this hopeless quest for self-gratification and validation?

Am I compelled to be this quivering mess of reaching, grasping introspection?

Am I finished?

No, not at all

Praise God from Whom all blessings flow

Praise Him all creatures here below

Praise Him above ye heavenly host

Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost

And that is all