The Fall

Laugh at me

It's OK

It's well deserved

From day to day

I can't breathe!

I can't breathe!

Don't you worry about my heart

It's OK

The attraction was tearing us apart

We'd die if we stayed that way

I can't feel!

I can't feel!

Watch as the rocks fall off the cliff

Hello?

What's this?

Another screw up

Hazzah!

Watch me as I find the meaning of "liff"

I'm paralyzed 

Safety in odd places

Sometimes, I want to just hide in the bathroom. It's quiet, it's private, it's safe, it's dirty, it's controlled chaos. There are no bills, no women, no papers to write, no enemies to run from. There is peace in the simplest of places. I can hear myself think, I can scream or I can pray. Reality does not affect me. I am the zen master. Do not disturb me... I am escaping. People laugh, but this means very little to me, that is why I stay. No one would ever guess. There is no materialism, there is no capitalism, there is no communism, there are no "ism"s. There is security.

Maybe I'll come out in a day or two...

Scott

Making Up for Lost Time

He looked at the DVD case. It meant nothing to him; neither did food, or money, or music. Apathy was setting in rapidly. The one thing he had thought he had licked. Or was that contentment...? He couldn't be sure. 

The brisk air froze as he breathed out. He could feel ice prickling on his nose. Shoving the now meaningless video case back into his bag he pressed on into the night. It HAD to be around here somewhere! But WHERE??? Everything looked so different at night, it was infuriating! Finding the place in day light had been hard enough... he had even walked by it once not even knowing that it was there! Now where...... 

Green street; there it was. Hang a right, and another right. More darkness, but he could make out a small figure perched upon a bench.

"Hello," a equally small voice whispered.

"Dammit, I missed you!" There was a visible change in his countenance; as if an enormous burden had been lifted from his shoulders. 

"You should talk! I thought I was going to pull my hair out!"

"That would be kinda messy..."

She gave him a playful bop on the nose. "Oh, hush!"

There was a pause for a few moments... then she resumed her train of thought. "It was the little things, you know, like first when I wanted a jar of peanut butter and it was on the top shelf, and I couldn't reach it!" She stopped again, sniffed... "I.... I started crying. Stupid, huh?"

He didn't say anything; but sat down and wrapped his arm around her and held her for all he was worth. "I'm taking you with me next time, OK?"

*sniff* "You had better!" Then a laugh, "Oh, come 'ere!" 

Rain started coming down in soft droplets upon their heads... they didn't notice. They were making up for lost time.

Don't waste your money...

... just don't do it. It's stupid......... especially in college. If you run out of money, most of the time, it's your fault. Just the truth. Here: PLAN WHAT YOU WANT TO BUY!!!!!!! Even if you plan on buying dumb junk that you won't be using in six months.... write it down, plan for it, then buy it. It may not last, and the novelty will ware off, but you will still have the satisfaction of a purchase well spent. 

Perhaps, instead of shopping for lame stuff, you should play Halo or..... something..... like eating stuff......um.....

nevermind.

Scott

"Get on your knees, and fight like a man!"

Who says Petra is outdated? Come on! Show yourselves, and I'll give you a piece of my mind! I'm having a jocular good time here... just so you know. I won't really hurt you, but seriously! 

You wake up in the morning, you feel... empty. You feel like you just screwed things up even more than they already were! They have every right to hate your guts! But you still love them... that's why you did what you did. Because you love them. The imperfect copy of Jesus inside of you tried to rebel against the pain and stupidity that it saw around you, and a tainted world rebuffs you... yet again. 

Now what? What do you do? You are in dirt, bloodied and bruised... still armed for battle. There is only one thing for it; get down on your knees in the mud! Pray like you have never prayed before! You may have been ignoring God, this was your wake up call! This may seem like a little thing, but no break in the fellowship of the church is a small thing! This may have happened a thousand times before, get down again... fight! The time has come to fight like a man!

In Christ,

Scott

An Old Friend

The rain has been so long in coming

An old friend

Just when I need him most

Pouring down, down, down

 

Clean my soul, aid my friends

Help them please, make amends

I cry and scream and hurt

I stumble in the dirt

 

The other side I long for

The other side I crave

I look to what lies beyond

At the other side of the grave

 

But time is not yet finished

So much more work to do

And with some grace, and helping hands

I know I’ll make it though

 

The rain drips down the shutters

And leaks in through the cracks

It warms my heart with gladness

That nothing I do lack

 

A reminder that I’m starving

For the words I did neglect

How could I be so blinded?

How could I now forget?

 

A dusty book

Written by a friend

Is the only way

For me to make amends

 

The rain it is so soothing

It runs into my soul

It keeps me warm and healthy

It brings me back to home 

The night is long... my words are longer

My head is warm. A hat does its job. It has words on it, meaning I know not what. I am sitting in a place that is not home, but I am comforted. Buzzing on, buzzing off, buzzing on, buzzing off. I have not driven in hours, it feels like years. My car does not exist. W________ and ____W are now my stomping grounds, and they are populated with loved ones, new and newer. Rap can be constructive, depending on the beat. Friends, however, choose not to enjoy it. One person listens, even when I don't know what I am saying. Blue eyes seem more abundant out west. I doubt the validity of some statements, yet I am learning to trust others... again. Family is far away, but they do not inhabit my hometown. Materialism consumes like a toxic radioactive fire. God pulls me from its flames. Being content and patient makes one richer. Tithing, even more so. A healthy longing is not out of place. Air mattresses deflate easily... they must not enjoy my company. I go to sleep on one. I will awake upon the floor. Canned food tastes good, depending on the circumstances.

Good-nite,

Scott