Safety in odd places

Sometimes, I want to just hide in the bathroom. It's quiet, it's private, it's safe, it's dirty, it's controlled chaos. There are no bills, no women, no papers to write, no enemies to run from. There is peace in the simplest of places. I can hear myself think, I can scream or I can pray. Reality does not affect me. I am the zen master. Do not disturb me... I am escaping. People laugh, but this means very little to me, that is why I stay. No one would ever guess. There is no materialism, there is no capitalism, there is no communism, there are no "ism"s. There is security.

Maybe I'll come out in a day or two...

Scott

Making Up for Lost Time

He looked at the DVD case. It meant nothing to him; neither did food, or money, or music. Apathy was setting in rapidly. The one thing he had thought he had licked. Or was that contentment...? He couldn't be sure. 

The brisk air froze as he breathed out. He could feel ice prickling on his nose. Shoving the now meaningless video case back into his bag he pressed on into the night. It HAD to be around here somewhere! But WHERE??? Everything looked so different at night, it was infuriating! Finding the place in day light had been hard enough... he had even walked by it once not even knowing that it was there! Now where...... 

Green street; there it was. Hang a right, and another right. More darkness, but he could make out a small figure perched upon a bench.

"Hello," a equally small voice whispered.

"Dammit, I missed you!" There was a visible change in his countenance; as if an enormous burden had been lifted from his shoulders. 

"You should talk! I thought I was going to pull my hair out!"

"That would be kinda messy..."

She gave him a playful bop on the nose. "Oh, hush!"

There was a pause for a few moments... then she resumed her train of thought. "It was the little things, you know, like first when I wanted a jar of peanut butter and it was on the top shelf, and I couldn't reach it!" She stopped again, sniffed... "I.... I started crying. Stupid, huh?"

He didn't say anything; but sat down and wrapped his arm around her and held her for all he was worth. "I'm taking you with me next time, OK?"

*sniff* "You had better!" Then a laugh, "Oh, come 'ere!" 

Rain started coming down in soft droplets upon their heads... they didn't notice. They were making up for lost time.

Don't waste your money...

... just don't do it. It's stupid......... especially in college. If you run out of money, most of the time, it's your fault. Just the truth. Here: PLAN WHAT YOU WANT TO BUY!!!!!!! Even if you plan on buying dumb junk that you won't be using in six months.... write it down, plan for it, then buy it. It may not last, and the novelty will ware off, but you will still have the satisfaction of a purchase well spent. 

Perhaps, instead of shopping for lame stuff, you should play Halo or..... something..... like eating stuff......um.....

nevermind.

Scott

"Get on your knees, and fight like a man!"

Who says Petra is outdated? Come on! Show yourselves, and I'll give you a piece of my mind! I'm having a jocular good time here... just so you know. I won't really hurt you, but seriously! 

You wake up in the morning, you feel... empty. You feel like you just screwed things up even more than they already were! They have every right to hate your guts! But you still love them... that's why you did what you did. Because you love them. The imperfect copy of Jesus inside of you tried to rebel against the pain and stupidity that it saw around you, and a tainted world rebuffs you... yet again. 

Now what? What do you do? You are in dirt, bloodied and bruised... still armed for battle. There is only one thing for it; get down on your knees in the mud! Pray like you have never prayed before! You may have been ignoring God, this was your wake up call! This may seem like a little thing, but no break in the fellowship of the church is a small thing! This may have happened a thousand times before, get down again... fight! The time has come to fight like a man!

In Christ,

Scott

An Old Friend

The rain has been so long in coming

An old friend

Just when I need him most

Pouring down, down, down

 

Clean my soul, aid my friends

Help them please, make amends

I cry and scream and hurt

I stumble in the dirt

 

The other side I long for

The other side I crave

I look to what lies beyond

At the other side of the grave

 

But time is not yet finished

So much more work to do

And with some grace, and helping hands

I know I’ll make it though

 

The rain drips down the shutters

And leaks in through the cracks

It warms my heart with gladness

That nothing I do lack

 

A reminder that I’m starving

For the words I did neglect

How could I be so blinded?

How could I now forget?

 

A dusty book

Written by a friend

Is the only way

For me to make amends

 

The rain it is so soothing

It runs into my soul

It keeps me warm and healthy

It brings me back to home 

The night is long... my words are longer

My head is warm. A hat does its job. It has words on it, meaning I know not what. I am sitting in a place that is not home, but I am comforted. Buzzing on, buzzing off, buzzing on, buzzing off. I have not driven in hours, it feels like years. My car does not exist. W________ and ____W are now my stomping grounds, and they are populated with loved ones, new and newer. Rap can be constructive, depending on the beat. Friends, however, choose not to enjoy it. One person listens, even when I don't know what I am saying. Blue eyes seem more abundant out west. I doubt the validity of some statements, yet I am learning to trust others... again. Family is far away, but they do not inhabit my hometown. Materialism consumes like a toxic radioactive fire. God pulls me from its flames. Being content and patient makes one richer. Tithing, even more so. A healthy longing is not out of place. Air mattresses deflate easily... they must not enjoy my company. I go to sleep on one. I will awake upon the floor. Canned food tastes good, depending on the circumstances.

Good-nite,

Scott

Never Fear, the Flobots are Here!

It is finally time for another review. I am sure that some of you at least have heard of the fad hip/hop group, Flobots. For those unfamiliar with the group’s sound and direction, I’ll give you a point of reference. They take the political-mindedness of Rise Against, and add the Biblical worldview and catchy beats of Christian rappers like KJ-52, and PAX217. Have you ever wanted your music to actually SAY something, and yet not twist the facts? Have you ever been sickened by what the church is becoming and how it is aiding a fallen culture instead of impeding it? Never fear, the Flobots are here! And if you look beyond the exterior, I believe that they have the quality and power to stay on the scene for a long time.

 

Here are the lyrics to the opening song:

 

 

"There's a war going on for your mind

Media mavens mount surgical strikes from trapper keeper collages and online magazine racks

Cover girl cutouts throw up pop-up ads

Infecting victims with silicone shrapnel

Worldwide passenger pigeons deploy paratroopers

Now it's raining pornography

Lovers take shelter

Post-production debutantes pursue you in nascar chariots

They construct ransom letters from biblical passages and bleed mascara into holy water supplies

 

There's a war going on for your mind

Industry insiders slang test tube babies to corporate crackheads

They flash logos and blast ghettos

Their embroidered neckties say "stop snitchin'"

Conscious rappers and whistleblowers get stitches made of acupuncture needles and marionette strings

 

There is a war going on for your mind

Professional wrestlers and vice presidents want you to believe them

The desert sky is their bluescreen

They superimpose explosions

They shout at you

'pay no attention to the men behind the barbed curtain

Nor the craters beneath the draped flags'

Those hoods are there for your protection

And meteors these days are the size of corpses

 

There's a war going on for your mind

We are the insurgents"

 

WARNING: "Mayday," "Stand Up," "Combat," and "The Rhythm Method" contain some profanity.

Stand out tracks: "There's a War Going on for Your Mind," "Stand Up," "Handlebars," "Rise", and (if you can find this b-side track online) "So Happy Together."

Final score: 4 1/2 out of 5

 

Until next time,

Scott

I'm still here

The sky fades again, as all the people leave

But I’m here… I’m still here

My words cut those I wish to please

And I’m here, I’m still here

 

The grass dies and the world spins

Friends grow old, I grow away

I’m trying to swim, but I’ve lost my fins

The thoughts hurt from day to day

But I’m still here, Yes, I’m still here

 

Another one stands before me

You can look, but you can’t touch

My failures are so plain to see

It all seems to be too much

 

And the clouds roll in, the world caves in

I still stand

I look back, were I’m going, were I’ve been

And I stand, and I fall, and I die

I hope and I love and I cry

And I’m still here

 

It’s so quiet in this room

My mind it moves so fast

This won’t become my tomb

I’m going to make this last

 

The fear comes to haunt, the people run away

But I’m here, I’m still here

I will not flee, I won’t choose to be afraid

And I’m here, I’m still here

An Apology

This is me recanting, or perhaps just clarifying and apologizing for what I said in my last post. It was very ill thought out, and full of very bad jokes. Then worst of all, I put it up on the webernet for all to see. And now I have friends and relatives asking me if I have a girlfriend and who it is that they should be hating. Stupid, stupid me!

Error #1: When I said "falling in love," I simply meant that I am attracted to the opposite sex again. In retrospect, this is probably the most dense and obviously stupid thing I could say. Of COURSE I'm attracted to the opposite sex! I'm a guy! DUH! So that was really dumb. It is just that I have been jaded by relationships before, and my poetical, exaggerating mind took my words too far when I started feeling lovey-dovey emotions again. Who isn't jaded by it at sometime, and who doesn't fall back on their pheromones again? Sorry about that one...

Error #2: "Befriended an enemy of the Christian faith..." WOW.... bad, bad, bad joke. Biting sarcasm, and very ill thought out. No, he's not. I was out of line. It's just that a lot of people I know pre-judge his family, and that really, REALLY ticks me off. But my comment was out of line, and I apologize for that.

I will think before I post in the future. Please forgive me for my previous post, and I pray that you will continue reading what I write; even when it is out of bounds.

Sincerely,

Your Friend,

Scott

Shock

(this post is under construction, due to misunderstandings and miscommunication. sorry for the inconvenience, and thank you for your patients. Scott)